I experienced my first true healing experience while learning my Vedic Meditation practice.
On the last night of our meditation course my teacher, Jonni Pollard, was speaking about Karma prior to going into our group meditation.
Something about his words on Karma lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I physically felt a release that was almost dizzying, but it relaxed me. Then we all went into our 20 minute meditation.
Within the last few minutes of sitting, my body started trembling, my skin felt hot, and tears rolled down my face.
I had never felt anything like it and tried to maintain my composure, as we were all slowly being invited to come out of meditation and back into the space.
I was in shock, having no idea what had just happened.The student next to me noticed my discomfort and put her hand on my back to soothe me.
After every meditation Jonni encouraged us to share our experiences, and as soon as he invited us to discuss, I raised my hand and said, “What the hell just happened to me?!”
Jonni smiled at me and said, “When that happens… hm!” and shrugged his shoulders.
He then explained that the emotional and physical catharsis that can take place during a meditation is exactly how powerful it is in digging up old stuff that’s buried deep in our subconscious. Vedic Meditation is considered “industrial strength meditation” for this reason.
(I remembered a couple years prior, my former psychiatrist told me to start meditating to help work through my PTSD. She warned me that it might bring up triggering feelings or memories and to call her if I had that experience. It never happened then. Now I understood that this was what she was talking about.)
Jonni shared that things come up for us, to let them go. Don’t hold on, don’t freak out. Just witness. It’s coming up, to come out. That’s very good!
The emotions attached to the physical catharsis I experienced were fear, rage, and shame. I knew exactly where they came from and the years overdue release of these emotions set me free.
I left that evening with the fullest heart. I never knew my heart could feel so full. I was beaming, my energy was through the roof, and this blissful state lasted for 7 months.
Everyone in my life could see it. I was often asked, “You’re glowing! Are you in love?”
This practice became the catalyst for the most profound shift in my wellbeing. It was Soul deep. Meditation was the beginning of a whole new world for me.
Healing is a messy and emotional process. It’s not for the faint of heart and usually those called to healing have been through hard times. You either perpetuate the suffering or you make the choice to end it.